“Tinder Whore”

Ok so I’m not really doing these posts in chronological order, what’s the point? I’ll write my memoirs properly one day.

My main issue today is TINDER. 

Why the HELL is there such a stigma about it?

“Oh you’re on tinder? You must be desperate”

“Oh you know only sluts go on tinder for sex”

Get lost. I’m on tinder at the moment, in fact I signed up 2 days after my break up YES 2 DAYS and yes I have matched with several people and I have arranged a few dates and I am consistently talking to at least 2 guys a day but I’m sorry who am I actually hurting?

Even if I decide to go out and sleep with every guy I go on a date with, unless it’s YOUR boyfriend/husband (or someone elses, I don’t go for people in relationships just to add) why do you have to have an opinion?

I know so many women who don’t want to go on multiple dates even if they fancy the guys because they’re worried what people will think well ladies here’s some advice:

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO JUDGE NO MATTER WHAT.

You go on loads of dates? Slut. You don’t go on any? Frigid/cold. You decide to stop dating a guy because you don’t like him anymore? Heartless. You give a guy a chance even though you aren’t sure you like him? Leading him on/user.

Do what makes you happy because God knows I am LOVING being on tinder and getting constant attention and constant messages it’s exactly what I need after my breakup.

Haters gonna hate yo,

Do what you gotta do.

PEACE OUT. 

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How I Met My Ex and Made Him Fall in Love With Me

Definitely going to be the next big TV series…

Okay so, might as well start from the rough beginning – how I met my most recent ex.

I came to uni. I had absolutely no desire to gain a boyfriend or any attachments in that sense other than drinking buddies. Back home before I moved away I generally got drunk at parties and snogged my male friends (and 99.9% of the time regretted it) and that was about as far as my dating experience had gone… well I’d had ONE date before I went to university and that was absolutely horrendous:

  • Agreed to go on a ‘mate date’ with a guy I knew for a fact liked me #bitch
  • We arrived at the local pub, got a few drinks and instantly sat in silence.
  • It became apparent he was a MASSIVE lightweight hooray for me and so got pretty drunk pretty darn quickly.
  • At one point he just awkwardly grabbed my hand across the table to hold it in some desperate bid for romance, to which i squealed, pulled my hand away, asked “what the hell are you doing?” and burst out laughing.
  • The date finishes, we live in different areas, no need to walk me home it’s fine I’ll just get the cab!
  • That will work right? Right???
  • No. He decided to clamber into the cab with me despite us living nowhere near each other, came all the way back to my house, and stood outside the door just smiling at me.
  • I just went in for the awkward “right well tonight was nice” hug and he obviously went for a kiss…. TWICE. I managed to dodge both times before just giving up telling him goodnight and putting my key in the door, to which he feebly mumbles

“Where actually am I? I don’t know how to get home?”

Sigh.

But YES, other than that, no prior dating experience. So I met my boyfriend at a party, got his number, snogged him, let him stay over – let me add I was a good girl – and when he left the next day I was absolutely sure I’d never see him again.

Now I really did fancy him, like I really was so so attracted to him. So when I’m in the smoking area of a club and I see him standing there smoking, wearing a blazer (I found it sooo hot) I decided i absolutely had to have him.

I look over and smile and he smiles back, it’s slightly awkward, who goes over to who? I’m panicking, I’ve never done this, so I just keep smiling, at this point I must have looked like a psycho but it obviously worked because HE WALKED OVER TO ME.

Chatting to him and his mates and my friends go back down to the dancefloor but I decide to stay in the smoking area with all the boys just waiting for this guy in the blazer to fall in love with me.

One of his friends then says “do you want a cig?”
I don’t smoke, so i politely declined.
“Do you smoke?”
I go to answer no, however one of BlazerBoy’s friends laughs and goes
“Of course she smokes what a stupid question, why else would she just be standing in the smoking area for 20 minutes when all her mates have gone back downstairs?”
BlazerBoy looks at me and instead of telling the truth i just say
“Yeah i do smoke i just dont want to borrow cigs off you guys, i barely know you”
“It’s fine” says BlazerBoy, “Have one of mine”

I take the cig, light it, trying to look cool and see how long I can get away with not actually taking a drag, but I noticed BlazerBoy and his friends looking at me so I just go for it.

COUGHING ENSUES.
COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING.
HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS? HOW DO THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO EASY? WILL I EVER BREATHE AGAIN?

They all laugh and BlazerBoy has to pat me on the back several times and give me some of his drink
“You don’t actually smoke do you?”
“No… I was trying to look cool”

And that ladies, is how you bag yourself a man.

 

How do I begin?

I’m sure everyone, whether you’ve been in a relationship for 6 years or 6 days, absolutely DREADS the idea of “getting back out there” after becoming single again.

I’ve recently began to have these feelings of dread, after getting out of a 3 year relationship. Luckily for me I am still at university, I live on my own, and I live in the age of Tinder (yes it is an absolute GODSEND)

Basically, I’m a very awkward person, not in terms of my social skills, I mean I’m doing absolutely great meeting guys in real life and on tinder, more like I always find myself in awkward situations no matter how careful I try to be. I’ve decided why not start a blog relaying all these awkward situations, my amazing skills of flirtation, and any interesting things I pick up on my journey of being single.

Long story short, my friends refer to me as the modern day ‘Bridget Jones’ and I guess this is like my modern day diary. Teehee, enjoy.

Now what do I actually talk about first….