End of a 2-month era..

Okay so this guy I was *sort of* seeing (I’m sure we all know what I mean OI OI) has now been sacked and has vacated my life.

He didn’t really do anything wrong, but feelings started to get involved and it was beginning to get messy – and shockingly the feelings were on his side not mine!?

Last week I was out clubbing, feelin’ good, with a few mates, one of them of the male variety, when mystery man comes bowling over OFF HIS FACE drunk and gets all jealous and possessive and quite frankly I was mortified.

He apologised the next day for pushing my male friend, he didn’t even remember it, so I left it at that and put it down to him just being wasted.

THEN A FEW DAYS LATER…

He was supposed to come to mine for a ‘Netflix and Chill’ sesh, but during the day he got plastered again at a beer festival. 

AGAIN, understandable, I was not annoyed, until he kept drunk calling and texting me all day and night and when I did answer he was talking pure poop.

I was blatantly annoyed about some stuff he was saying & his mates were yelling in the background, so he goes,

Please don’t say I’ve f*cked this up, I’m starting to fall in love with you”

I’m not naive, I know he isn’t, but i can tell feelings are there. And with the jealousy, the constant drunk calling and throwing the L word around flippantly.. Well quite frankly I was done. And a bit freaked out so soon after my last relationship.

I simply said I have zero feelings on my side, we are just friends, so it’s better to stop our arrangement now before someone gets hurt.

He was ok about it, but ironically I’m the one that’s left feeling a bit hurt, just because I feel a bit crap about doing that. Started to overthink myself and worry I was being too cold and too bitchy, but ultimately I wasn’t I was just doing the right thing. Right?????

MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

If the feelings aren’t the same, then get back into the game

OI OI NEXT ONE PLEASE

Note: I’m not a man-eater that was purely a joke….ish

Xoxo

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I’ve been lazy!

Extremely sorry for my lack of posts.. I’ve been exceptionally lazy as of late!

THATS A LIE

Truth is I’ve been busy with my tindering, social life, drinking, having a brief intense love affair with a friend and a tiny bit of uni work on the side.

To summarise the last month, I’ve been constantly drunk, constantly flirting, constantly being naughty (hehe) and making sure I gather up enough fantastic stories.

ALSO

that first grown up date I went on went extremely well, we are still texting and are meeting up again in 2 weeks when he returns from uni 

YIPPEEEEEEEEEE 

More stories to come ūüėÄ

XOXO

SERIALDATER 

My First Grown Up Date

Ok so I’ve been on dates before, but it’s either a friend or I’ve already met the person a few times and then we go out and so on.

Last night I had my first date where I hadn’t met the guy and we’d only been speaking for a couple of days… It was a proper “pick you up at 8” style date.

I WAS SO NERVOUS

I actually drank a whole bottle of prosecco beforehand because I physically could not cope with the stress.

I had a melt down about what to wear and how to do my hair and I am NOT girly in the slightest.

I kept panicking about the greeting, do I shake his hand? Hug him? What if he goes for a kiss on the cheek and I miss and kiss his eyeball?? What if I fall over? What if I dribble my drink? All of these are worrying possibilities and all of these HAVE HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE.

Well anyway I got slightly pissed and headed off on the date and well… 

HE WAS SO SO SO SO GORGEOUS

Polite, funny, no break in conversation it flowed, I could be myself, there was a bit of sick humour which is like 30% of my normal humour so that was greeeat

Everything went so well until I accidentally elbowed the guy sitting behind me in the head causing him to fall forwards into his table and spill all their drinks… Oops.

I immediately thought “oh great that’s me done” but then awkward angels came to save the day.

During our conversation about swear words, the WHOLE PUB went quiet as he said the sentence

“I like a bit of c*ck, sometimes c*nt”

Oh the looks he got. OH IT MADE MY DAY. We both decided to move on to another pub where we proceeded to get drunk to end the date nicely.

And I was so grown up I didn’t even sleep with him – HAZAH!

Getting ahead of yourself on Tinder…

Ok so I think it’s VERY CLEAR from my last post that I use tinder. Now when I first started using this app my breakup was still pretty raw; self confidence was at an all time low and I felt a bit lost in terms of having that “person” to talk to.

Tinder could not have been better for me, in all honesty I owe how well I’ve coped with this split to tinder (and one mystery man I had a wild night with… But more on that later kids)

Getting matches from good looking guys, being asked to go for drinks, being able to just be my geeky weird yet surprisingly smooth self and guys loving it was great at first.. Now my only issue is what do I do with all these guys? 

Note: I do not mean this in a “look at me I’m so popular” way – I shall explain.

I’m chatting to about 5 or 6 guys at the moment consistently and have been now for about 2 weeks. They’re all nice, they all bring something different to the table, they all want to/have already taken me out for some drinks and I’m having fun but now it’s like OH SNAP WHO DO I PICK?

Don’t get me wrong I absolutely do not want a boyfriend AT ALL but I feel extremely odd talking so deeply, meeting up with, and in one case yes I’ve slept with one guy. How long can you keep that up for? Are they talking to as many girls? Will they think badly of me if they found out? AM I JUST OVERTHINKING THIS?

Seriously SOMEONE HELP. I’m far too new to this crap. 

I shall update later in the week as I am going for drinks with two of the six guys… Oops. Maybe I should casually bring this up by asking how well they are doing on tinder? Gosh. Why is dating so hard?

I just want someone to eat pizza, get drunk, watch Harry Potter and engage in some adult cuddling with. SIGH.

TBC…..

How I Met My Ex and Made Him Fall in Love With Me

Definitely going to be the next big TV series…

Okay so, might as well start from the rough beginning – how I met my most recent ex.

I came to uni. I had absolutely no desire to gain a boyfriend or any attachments in that sense other than drinking buddies. Back home before I moved away I generally got drunk at parties and snogged my male friends (and 99.9% of the time regretted it) and that was about as far as my dating experience had gone… well I’d had ONE date before I went to university and that was absolutely horrendous:

  • Agreed to go on a ‘mate date’ with a guy I knew for a fact liked me #bitch
  • We arrived at the local pub, got a few drinks and instantly sat in silence.
  • It became apparent he was a MASSIVE lightweight¬†hooray for me¬†and so got pretty drunk pretty darn quickly.
  • At one point he just awkwardly grabbed my hand across the table to hold it in some desperate bid for romance, to which i squealed, pulled my hand away, asked “what the hell are you doing?” and burst out laughing.
  • The date finishes, we live in different areas, no need to walk me home it’s fine I’ll just get the cab!
  • That will work right? Right???
  • No. He decided to clamber into the cab with me despite us living nowhere near each other, came all the way back to my house, and stood outside the door just smiling at me.
  • I just went in for the awkward “right well tonight was nice” hug and he obviously went for a kiss….¬†TWICE.¬†I managed to dodge both times before just giving up telling him goodnight and putting my key in the door, to which he feebly mumbles

“Where actually am I? I don’t know how to get home?”

Sigh.

But YES, other than that, no prior dating experience. So I met my boyfriend at a party, got his number, snogged him, let him stay over – let me add I was a good girl – and when he left the next day I was absolutely sure I’d never see him again.

Now I really did fancy him, like I really was so so attracted to him. So when I’m in the smoking area of a club and I see him standing there smoking, wearing a blazer (I found it sooo hot) I decided i absolutely had to have him.

I look over and smile and he smiles back, it’s slightly awkward, who goes over to who? I’m panicking, I’ve never done this, so I just keep smiling, at this point I must have looked like a psycho but it obviously worked because HE WALKED OVER TO ME.

Chatting to him and his mates and my friends go back down to the dancefloor but I decide to stay in the smoking area with all the boys just waiting for this guy in the blazer to fall in love with me.

One of his friends then says “do you want a cig?”
I don’t smoke, so i politely declined.
“Do you smoke?”
I go to answer no, however one of BlazerBoy’s friends laughs and goes
“Of course she smokes what a stupid question, why else would she just be standing in the smoking area for 20 minutes when all her mates have gone back downstairs?”
BlazerBoy looks at me and instead of telling the truth i just say
“Yeah i do smoke i just dont want to borrow cigs off you guys, i barely know you”
“It’s fine” says BlazerBoy, “Have one of mine”

I take the cig, light it, trying to look cool and see how long I can get away with not actually taking a drag, but I noticed BlazerBoy and his friends looking at me so I just go for it.

COUGHING ENSUES.
COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING.
HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS? HOW DO THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO EASY? WILL I EVER BREATHE AGAIN?

They all laugh and BlazerBoy has to pat me on the back several times and give me some of his drink
“You don’t actually smoke do you?”
“No… I was trying to look¬†cool”

And that ladies, is how you bag yourself a man.

 

How do I begin?

I’m sure everyone, whether you’ve been in a relationship for 6 years or 6 days, absolutely DREADS the idea of “getting back out there” after becoming single again.

I’ve recently began to have these feelings of dread, after getting out of a 3 year relationship. Luckily for me I am still at university, I live on my own, and I live in the age of Tinder (yes it is an absolute GODSEND)

Basically, I’m a very awkward person, not in terms of my social skills, I mean I’m doing absolutely great meeting guys in real life and on tinder, more like I always find myself in awkward situations no matter how careful I try to be. I’ve decided why not start a blog relaying all these awkward situations, my amazing skills of flirtation, and any interesting things I pick up on my journey of being single.

Long story short, my friends refer to me as the modern day ‘Bridget Jones’ and I guess this is like my modern day diary. Teehee, enjoy.

Now what do I actually talk about first….